Okay, sure, I know things have slowed down somewhat in this space and other Caps-centric zones of the interwebs, and yes we're all probably still mourning the disaster that befell our fearless gang this spring. And so it seems, in this most unpleasant state of sadness that some dude named Shatzer (yes that's shat, as in the past tense of shit) clearly knows what's best for this moribund franchise! Take it away Shatty McShatterton!
Link about firing the coach yay!
Every 20 years or so, a major D.C. sports team is good enough to win a championship. Right now, the Capitals are that team, and they might need to a make a major move so they can win one before their window closes.
Okay Shatty, kind of a bummer start there huh buddy? I mean, really? We only get to win every 20 years? What about that bumfuck Boston who wins multiples in multiple sports over multiple dynasties? Also, somewhat tricked up here already, so we are 'that team' to win a championship, however we 'might' need to make a 'major move' before we can win one? All that before our 'window' closes?!? So can we win one, we are the team to win one, but we still need to make a move, but our window is closing! GAHHH!!!!
January 26, 1992 was an awful long time ago. I was eight years old, and I can just barely remember it.
Oh fuck I was 12, get out of here! I feel bad making fun of someone so much younger! Haha suck it baby boy Shatty!
An entire generation of D.C. sports fans has been waiting almost 20 years to see one of its teams lift a trophy. Those of us who watched the Redskins win Super Bowl XXVI as kids are now well into our adulthood, and don't have a real grasp on what it feels like to support a champion.
It really is quite taxing isn't it? I mean, to exist amid such pain and anguish! How do we go on?! Nevermind the rising inflation, another housing bubble burst, skyrocketing unemployment rates, next to no job opportunities for just out of college grads, but fuck all that noise we don't know what its like to support a champion! Oh shit I need a therapist!
When will a major D.C. sports team have its next championship?
Right here, right now I go on record and state unequivocally that in 2014 the Nationals will win the World Series behind Cy Young winner Strasburg and MVP Harper. Put that in your sad fucking pipe and toke it Shattyboy.
They made huge player moves at the trade deadline to bring in winners like Jason Arnott and Dennis Wideman.
Yeah these guys screamed winning huh? Regular Charlie Sheens! I mean, ignore for a fact they were both too damn old and rickety and injured to really make a difference..
They adapted to a new more defensive style of play that's been a proven success in the NHL playoffs. They'd done virtually everything in their power to set themselves up for a long run.
They even had their coach fast for a whole thirty minutes! He had a brocolli!
The Capitals were the hottest team in the Eastern Conference entering the playoffs.
Always a precursor to cruising through the two month grind of the stanley cup!
No. There's one more change that the Capitals can make. They could change the coaching. For four straight seasons now, Bruce Boudreau and his staff has taken this incredibly talented team no farther than the second round of the playoffs. He's had his chance. Its time to give someone else a chance.
Now now, Shatty, haven't you heard from our fearless leader GMGM, the coach doesn't matter? I mean get real here buddy! Bruce has the best record EVER after whatever number of games he's coached. EVER, in the entire history of the stupid sport. I'm not sure you can can the guy, even though I'd love nothing more then to find him living in a (mercedes) van down by the river!
The window for the Washington Capitals to win a Stanley Cup is closing. The players are getting older
Oops! Lets see a list huh:
- Ovechkin (25)
- Backstrom (23)
- Green (25)
- Alzner (22)
- Carlson (21)
- Johansson (20)
- Nuevirth (23)
- Varlamov (23)
Gee those guys sure are old! Man, how do they even manage to make it to the rink in time!
Boudreau is a good coach.
FIRE HIM NOW BEFORE THE GODDAMN IMAGINARY WINDOW CLOSES!
Maybe he would get them farther in the playoffs next year? Or maybe he wouldn't.
Maybe I'll write a coherent article this time? Or maybe I won't. Maybe I should have stayed in school and majored in Poly Sci? Or maybe I shouldn't. Maybe I should get a turkey club on rye? Or maybe I won't. SO THERE!
I don't take calling for someone's job lightly, but the change I'm proposing is justified.
But hes a good coach, but you should definitely fire him! Also, McShatty Butt boy whatever your name is, look don't worry too much about this supposed 'calling for someone's job' thing, I mean, its not like your important or anything. You write for a blog! I mean the only form of publication even lower then yours really is some other numbnut on some even more obscure blog making fun of your blog entry... oh wait, shit...
If this was a major corporation and you were given the biggest budget and the best products but achieved the same disappointing results for four consecutive years, you'd probably be fired too.
Couple things here Shatty, first off, there is a shit-ton different between a major corporation and a freakin' hockey team. Secondly, the league has a very strict salary cap so its kinda hard to say anyone in the league is given the 'biggest budget' I mean we're not talking about the 08 yankees here for god's sake.
You'd be replaced with someone different. Not necessarily better in every way, but different.
Really?! Tell us more nostradamus?! Hey I got one, when is this whole 'world end thing' going to happen again?!?
A different voice with some fresh ideas might be exactly what the Capitals need.
Or at least a voice that can be heard more clearly instead of constantly emanating from a mouth stuffed with calzone!
Ted Leonsis and George McPhee need to make a change to the Capitals' coaching before its too late.
DUN DUN DUN! (movie preview voice guy) In a world....... Where it might already be too late! A leader of the Hutt clan and his trusty ally must make a MOST DIFFICULT of decisions..... THEY MUST CHOOSE WITH THEIR HEART!
They owe it to the D.C. area.
Such a gutty concept, damn you rich dude who bought a team fifteen years ago, YOU OWE IT TO US. I mean, I'm an asshole who's never bought season tickets and only catch the third period of a couple playoff games but YOU OWE ME mother fucker because the skins and wizards suck.
We've all become emotionally invested in their team, and we desperately want to see them win. The window is closing.
You keep mentioning this swiftly descending window but never really explain yourself. I mean, Ovechkin and Backstrom are signed for another billion years (approximate) so that must be one big ass window to already be closing.
Let's win a Cup before it closes.
Yeah come on guys! God knows myself and McShatty Buttboy are doing whatever it takes! Its almost like you guys don't actually want to win one...
Because it might be 20 more years before it opens again around here.
Ah yes, of course, a perfect reason. Or maybe it will be 30 more years! Bwahahhhhahaaa!
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