(somewhere in suburban DC, home of nhl pro Brooks Laich)
Crowd: (Mostly losers and dweebs) YAY!!!!!!
BL21: Wow! Okay guys thanks for coming! Oh My Gosh! Can you believe it! Well well well, here we are, huh? Friends, family, loved ones! Beautiful babes! Coach! Oh my coach, that sweet wizard, that wonder of girth, giant of gab, that great strategic mind that convinced me to stay! What can I say, but a most heartfelt thank you!
BB: Wow Brooks I never really expected that! I mean, come on, its enough you invited us over to your wonderful pool pavilion!
BL21: I know coach, I rented the veranda for 250 per hour!
BB: What a deal my boy!
BL21: I learn from the best!
(a doorbell rings)
BL21: Oh my another guest! I shall go and answer the door to my gigantic unearned mansion!
(walks through crappy duplex and opens creaky door)
OV: Sup brook laich!
BL21: OV@!!!!! Oh MY GOD! Hot tub bro, you are gettin wet pronto!
OV: Ha ha! You funny white boy, no me and woman here go for dinner, we come back later, 2 am ish?
BL21: Naw man come on back! Even coach came! Come on man, we're celebratin my contract man! There's even fireworks!
OV: Listen, brook, ovechkin give support yes? I come by, shab apartment life, but you know, that is good right? See, ovechkin need fuel, and pussy see? I take this blond behind back, cause a ruckus no? Instead, we go back to ovechkin place yeah? Mum, come visit from homeland, bring potato!
BL21: Come on Alex, I'm beggin you, couldn't you atleast hang for like 10 minutes? Please????
OV: Fine, we make out by bush for five.
(They return to party)
(Another knock on door, 21 answers promptly)
MG52: Yo Brooksies! Mike green, nhl defensemen here, Heard you were throwin a rave bro! Ha ha, man some contract dude, sweet terms! I saw the message boards were buzzin man! All bitchin' about no hometown discount and shit, You know what I say bro, fuck em! Ha ha! That hutt bitch and his buttboy makafi ain't nuthin!
BL21: OH MY GOD MIKEY YOU HAVE TO STAY!
MG52: Shit man, whatcha up to?
BL21: Well, shit, we got fireworks! Coach is here too, great guy man, I really think he was robbed this year on the jackadams....
MG52: What are you, fuckin retarded?!?
BL21: Well, I just mean, you know his wizardry....
MG52: Man, fuck that noise, I gotta bounce, just wanted to stop by on my way to the D. R.ssss...
BL21: What?!? Oh no Mikey!
MG52: Just routine shit, that damn fungus sprung up again on my tizaint, you know, I was going down on that girl we met at starbucks, fuckin hep flared up on the lip, not sure what the hell happened there, starting gettin these damn nose bleeds, like all the fuckin time man, I was like yo doc, you gotta get me some shit here man, not to mention the fucking strep I had for like 4 weeks man, woke up the other day this giant fuckin' tick just chillin in my urethra, i swear i was pukin blood for weeks.
BL21: Shit, cool man, thanks for stoppin by!
MG52: Peace bro.
(He leaves, 21 walks back to the party, BB is by the grill)
BB: Hey Brooksies! Are you gonna smoke these suasages or do I have to DO EVERTHING!
(backstrom giggles, ovechkin and his girl do anal)
BL21: My, what a grand party!
(BB dons a wizard hat)
BB: Oh yes son! This is what happens when you focus!
(Eric fehr sits in a cage outside the veranda)
BB: See poor fehrsies over there! I mean, the nerve, to take a TWO MINUTE penalty in a playoff game! Well I've never!
BL21: Yes coach, that is not the leadership we require!
BB: Oh no! We must be diligent!
(Another ring of the doorbell)
BL21: Gosh! Quite the crowd huh wiz?!
(He goes to answer the door)
(a hutt sand crusier pulls up)
A voice: AHERHEA!!!! Ayouwers aswerws sth eerqwe two! Brooksiesssedhsdfsthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I commadnwerdsdrfsder theee!!!!!
(GMGM slithers from the upper balcony)
GMGM: Ahhh yes! (pauses for 18 minutes) Quite the shin-dig! I mean, for all of the planet and galaxy to attend! Oh what is that, boy, Brooksies, you forget our invitations?!? (Pauses and glares at 21 for two hours) Yessss, I see, so what now boy?!? We have stormed your precious lair!
BL21: (stammering) Wow, oh my gosh, listen George, crap may I call you George? I mean, sir, I just want to say again, thank you from the most bottomist part my heart, I swear!
(A shadow, deep in a most treacherous of darkness, passes dramatically over the door frame)
LeonsisTheHutt: SOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, Broookkksssieessssssssssssss, youthinkyouhaveoutsmartedtdddddddd a huttttttttt/?!?!?!? Wellll, see here my laddddddddddddddddd, atertshtasehrselrasd laeraeiadlnflksdrw wlherlhsl werlakj haweroujo adfjalwe asdfa ssucks!!!!!!
BL21: Uhhh....
BB: Oh my god what a party! Turn up the jams!
LeonsisTheHutt: Isssssss thattt bruccieeeeeeeeee??!?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
(The end, I hope)
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