The Big Deal

(In an office somewhere over Kettler)

(Coach sits at his desk working over a small laptop)

BB: Okay! Wow, three wins in a row! man, I am some coach huh? (Gazes into giant facial mirror) Oh Bruce, or should I say Jack Adams! Oh coach, what can I do now? Well lets see here, time to tweak the power play! Just too many goals lately... Okay, so I think we need Green and Ov on the points, two minutes mandatory shift time! Ah yes, brilliant bruce, just brilliant. Okay, lets see here, more brain power, duh duh duh, thats it, Semin on the half wall! Perfect diagram Bruce! Okay, Backstrom behind the net and Fleischmann in front! Ahh yes, Oh Flash, you are soo dreamy. I'll never forget that day I told him he would be on the cover of my book! Oh what a time! Oh what a moment!

(There is a long drawn out low rumbling of a knock at the door)

BB: Oh Who could that be?!

GMGM: Hey coach, got a minute?

BB: Sure thing Boss! (jumps up and grabs a chair for GMGM) Here take this one! Good for the back!

GMGM: Okay, so coach, we need to um...... (pauses for 5 minutes) have a chat? okay?

BB: Oh sure thing George! Wow, I'm so excited to see you!

GMGM: Right listen, (inhales air for three straight minutes) okay, so we have made a slight move today. Really a move to strengthen the (pauses indefinitely) core of the team.

BB: Okay, that sounds great! I'm great at introducing new players!

(BB inhales 5 doughnuts in nervousness)

BB: Anything to eat?!

GMGM: no no! I don't consume until December 8th, no Bruce, listen this is serious (nods and glares in no direction for 12 minutes) Okay, listen we traded tomas.

BB: Who?

GMGM: You know, I think you fellas call him Flash?

BB: RAHHH HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!?!?!?! HES OUR ONLY OPTION AT NUMBER TWO CENTER!!!!!

GMGM: Listen Bruce, we had to make a (pauses and grins at BB for twenty four minutes) move that would help the structure of the team! I really think THE SWEEDEEE can handle those minutes.

BB: But Tyler was just coming off injury, he was ready for twenty minutes a night!

GMGM: We just disagree Bruce.

BB: Who is this we!? I demand an answer?!

(A shadow passes across the doorway)

Ted: Listen Bruce, ooooggahh gummphh fummpppph.

GMGM: I think what Ted is hinting at is that while we are proud of the amount of fans (pauses for 8 hours) that come to the gate, we really needed something at defense.

Ted: Ohhhhwereeeee theeeughsss upm[thahttt

GMGM: Right!

BB: What?!

(Meanwhile back at the Fleischmann family home)

FLASH: Hey MOM! Guess what?!? I'm going to be playing with Ovechkin tonight!!!

Flash's Mom: honey you have a phone call.

FLASH: WOW NO BODY HAS CALLED ME IN TWELEVE YEARS!!! Maybe its Fehrsie, we were going to play table tennis later...

(answers a giant rotary phone)

FLASH: Hello?

BB: Tom, its me, coach, sugarbear, listen I think we need to have a chat...